[StBernard] Will Rogers Wisdom

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Tue Apr 29 14:27:20 EDT 2008

Will Rogers Wisdom

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was
probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a

woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold

it and put it back in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn

by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest

of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out

for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of

that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look

back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot

easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt

so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a

hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you

stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't


Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to

go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything

either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without

getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you

about aging is that it is such a nice change from

being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how

splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground

with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's

called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,

you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.


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