[StBernard] Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Westley Annis]

	> BARACK OBAMA: 
	> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The

	> chicken wanted CHANGE! 
	> 
	> JOHN MC CAIN: 
	> My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need 
	> to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other 
	> side of the road. 
	> 
	> HILLARY CLINTON: 
	> When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross 
	> the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --
right 
	> from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it 
	> deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me....... 
	> 
	> DR. PHIL: 
	> The problem we have here is that 
	> this chicken won't realize that he must 
	> first deal with the problem on 
	> 'THIS' side of the road before it goes 
	> after the problem on the 'OTHER 
	> SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is 
	> help him realize how stupid he's 
	> acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' 
	> problems before adding 'NEW' 
	> problems. 
	> 
	> OPRAH: 
	> Well, I understand that the 
	> chicken is having problems, which is why he 
	> wants to cross this road so bad. 
	> So instead of having the chicken learn 
	> from his mistakes and take 
	> falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to 
	> give this chicken a car so that 
	> he can just drive across the road and 
	> not live his life like the rest 
	> of the chickens. 
	> 
	> GEORGE W. BUSH: 
	> We don't really care why the 
	> chicken crossed the road. We just want to 
	> know if the chicken is on our 
	> side of the road, or not. The chicken is 
	> either against us, or for us. 
	> There is no middle ground here. 
	> 
	> COLIN POWELL: 
	> Now to the left of the screen, 
	> you can clearly see the satellite image 
	> of the chicken crossing the 
	> road... 
	> 
	> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: 
	> We have reason to believe there 
	> is a chicken, but we have not yet been 
	> allowed to have access to the 
	> other side of the road. 
	> 
	> JOHN KERRY: 
	> Although I voted to let the 
	> chicken cross the road, I am now against it! 
	> It was the wrong road to cross, 
	> and I was misled about the chicken's 
	> intentions. I am not for it now, 
	> and will remain against it. 
	> 
	> NANCY GRACE: 
	> That chicken crossed the road 
	> because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his 
	> eyes and the way he walks. 
	> 
	> PAT BUCHANAN: 
	> To steal the job of a decent, 
	> hardworking American. 
	> 
	> MARTHA STEWART: 
	> No one called me to warn me 
	> which way that chicken was going. I had a 
	> standing order at the Farmer's 
	> Market to sell my eggs when the price 
	> dropped to a certain level. No 
	> little bird gave me any insider 
	> information. 
	> 
	> DR SEUSS: 
	> Did the chicken cross the road? 
	> Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the 
	> chicken crossed the road, but 
	> why it crossed I've not been told. 
	> 
	> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: 
	> To die in the rain. Alone. 
	> 
	> JERRY FALWELL: 
	> Because the chicken was gay! 
	> Can't you people see the plain truth?' 
	> That's why they call it the 
	> 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken 
	> is gay. And if you eat that 
	> chicken, you will become gay too. I say we 
	> boycott all chickens until we 
	> sort out this abomination that the liberal 
	> media white washes with 
	> seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. 
	> That chicken should not be 
	> crossing the road. It's as plain and as 
	> simple as that. 
	> 
	> GRANDPA: 
	> In my day we didn't ask why the 
	> chicken crossed the road. Somebody told 
	> us the chicken crossed the road, 
	> and that was good enough. 
	> 
	> BARBARA WALTERS: 
	> Isn't that interesting? In a few 
	> moments, we will be listening to the 
	> chicken tell, for the first 
	> time, the heart warming story of how it 
	> experienced a serious case of 
	> molting, and went on to accomplish its 
	> life long dream of crossing the 
	> road. 
	> 
	> ARISTOTLE: 
	> It is the nature of chickens to 
	> cross the road. 
	> 
	> JOHN LENNON: 
	> Imagine all the chickens in the 
	> world crossing roads together, in peace. 
	> 
	> BILL GATES: 
	> I have just released 
	> eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but 
	> will lay eggs, file your 
	> important documents, and balance your check 
	> book. Internet Explorer is an 
	> integral part of the Chicken. This new 
	> platform is much more stable and 
	> will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ 
	> reboot. 
	> 
	> ALBERT EINSTEIN: 
	> Did the chicken really cross the 
	> road, or did the road move beneath the 
	> chicken? 
	> 
	> BILL CLINTON: 
	> I did not cross the road with 
	> THAT chicken. What is your definition of 
	> chicken? 
	> 
	> AL GORE: 
	> I invented the chicken! 
	> 
	> COLONEL SANDERS: 
	> Did I miss one? 
	> 
	> DICK CHENEY: 
	> Where's my gun?