[StBernard] Why did the chicken cross the road?
Westley at da-parish.com
Thu May 22 23:24:33 EDT 2008
> BARACK OBAMA:
> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
> chicken wanted CHANGE!
> JOHN MC CAIN:
> My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
> to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
> side of the road.
> HILLARY CLINTON:
> When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
> the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --
> from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
> deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
> DR. PHIL:
> The problem we have here is that
> this chicken won't realize that he must
> first deal with the problem on
> 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
> after the problem on the 'OTHER
> SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
> help him realize how stupid he's
> acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
> problems before adding 'NEW'
> Well, I understand that the
> chicken is having problems, which is why he
> wants to cross this road so bad.
> So instead of having the chicken learn
> from his mistakes and take
> falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
> give this chicken a car so that
> he can just drive across the road and
> not live his life like the rest
> of the chickens.
> GEORGE W. BUSH:
> We don't really care why the
> chicken crossed the road. We just want to
> know if the chicken is on our
> side of the road, or not. The chicken is
> either against us, or for us.
> There is no middle ground here.
> COLIN POWELL:
> Now to the left of the screen,
> you can clearly see the satellite image
> of the chicken crossing the
> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> We have reason to believe there
> is a chicken, but we have not yet been
> allowed to have access to the
> other side of the road.
> JOHN KERRY:
> Although I voted to let the
> chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
> It was the wrong road to cross,
> and I was misled about the chicken's
> intentions. I am not for it now,
> and will remain against it.
> NANCY GRACE:
> That chicken crossed the road
> because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
> eyes and the way he walks.
> PAT BUCHANAN:
> To steal the job of a decent,
> hardworking American.
> MARTHA STEWART:
> No one called me to warn me
> which way that chicken was going. I had a
> standing order at the Farmer's
> Market to sell my eggs when the price
> dropped to a certain level. No
> little bird gave me any insider
> DR SEUSS:
> Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
> chicken crossed the road, but
> why it crossed I've not been told.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> To die in the rain. Alone.
> JERRY FALWELL:
> Because the chicken was gay!
> Can't you people see the plain truth?'
> That's why they call it the
> 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
> is gay. And if you eat that
> chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
> boycott all chickens until we
> sort out this abomination that the liberal
> media white washes with
> seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
> That chicken should not be
> crossing the road. It's as plain and as
> simple as that.
> In my day we didn't ask why the
> chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
> us the chicken crossed the road,
> and that was good enough.
> BARBARA WALTERS:
> Isn't that interesting? In a few
> moments, we will be listening to the
> chicken tell, for the first
> time, the heart warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of
> molting, and went on to accomplish its
> life long dream of crossing the
> It is the nature of chickens to
> cross the road.
> JOHN LENNON:
> Imagine all the chickens in the
> world crossing roads together, in peace.
> BILL GATES:
> I have just released
> eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
> will lay eggs, file your
> important documents, and balance your check
> book. Internet Explorer is an
> integral part of the Chicken. This new
> platform is much more stable and
> will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........
> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the
> road, or did the road move beneath the
> BILL CLINTON:
> I did not cross the road with
> THAT chicken. What is your definition of
> AL GORE:
> I invented the chicken!
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> Did I miss one?
> DICK CHENEY:
> Where's my gun?
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