[StBernard] You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!

[Westley Annis]

These were just TOO GOOD!!!  Had to pass them on...

 

Enjoy...and remember what it says at the end...THESE FOLKS CAN VOTE!

You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could 
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen 
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the 
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," 
was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order 
six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

 

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the 
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up 
one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed 
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had 
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all 
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code 
she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've 
changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and 
I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just 
happened.

 

THREE

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and 
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, 
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a 
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

 

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. " Do you 
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced 
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. 
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have 
a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I 
asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the 
car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I 
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. 
It's a long walk."

 

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she 
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of 
typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the 
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank 
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 
"blank" copies.

 

SIX

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was 
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of 
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." 
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had 
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

 

SEVEN

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of 
a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems 
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of 
the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the 
back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

 

EIGHT

Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal 
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy 
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police 
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't 
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the 
suspect confessed.

 

NINE

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to 
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The 
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be 
fine .. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....

Dispatcher: Rush him to the emergency room!

 

Life is tough . It's tougher if you're stupid

                          and remember - these people can vote.