[StBernard] The farmer & the lawyer

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Mon Jul 7 20:20:24 EDT 2008

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Yoakum , Texas . He
shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up
on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, "I
shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming
over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
New York City and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes in Yoakum , Texas . We settle small disagreements like this
with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I
get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and
so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought
about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing
from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and
very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the

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