[StBernard] Saw this on a blog I read.

[Westley Annis]

We could all use a chuckle or two.



OT. Somebody just sent me these old quotes from the old Hollywood Squares
(hosted by Peter Marshall) and I thought I'd share for a few good laughs:





>Q. Do female frogs croak?

>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.



>Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you

>be?

>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.



>Q.True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.



>Q.You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a

>woman?

> A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.



>Q.According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you

>think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's

>married?

>A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning



>Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.



>Q.What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.



>Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands

>while talking?

>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll

>give you a gesture you'll never forget!



>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

>A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.



>Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get

>any during the first year?

>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.



>Q.In bowling, what's a perfect score?

>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.

>One is politics, what is the other?

>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.



>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.



>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



>Q.When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose

>do?

>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark.



>Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.



>Q.According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the

>habit of kissing a lot of people?

>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



>Q.It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.



>Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,

>what was he trying to do ?

>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



>Q.Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your

>elephant?

>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



>Q.When a couple have a child, who is responsible for its sex?

>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.



>Q.Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has

>actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.



>Q.According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

>A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!