[StBernard] Notice to all employees

[Westley Annis]

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected 
into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in
keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1.   All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a
Common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve
to give those of you who are underachieving a fair shake.

2.  All low level workers will be pooling their wages , including overtime,
into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help
those who are too busy for overtime  to reap the rewards from those who have
more spare time and can work extra hours.

3.  All top management will now be referred to as the government  We will
not participate in this pooling experience because the law doesn't apply to
us.

4.  The government  will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week,
encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard for the good of all.

5.  The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's good
to spread the wealth. Those  of you who have underachieved will finally get
an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel
more patriotic.

6.  The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't
feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare,
free handouts,
 free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in
your home for as long as you want even if you can't  pay your mortgage. If
you appeal
directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flatscreen TV
and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice
looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies you may want to
rethink your vote on November 4th.