[StBernard] OBITUARY

[Westley Annis]

OBITUARY OF THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    Knowing when to come in out of the rain

    Why the early bird gets the worm

    Life isn't always fair

    Maybe it was my fault

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies:

    Don't spend more than you can earn

    And reliable strategies:

    Adults, not children, are in charge

His health began to deteriorate when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a
student but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when it became punishable for you to defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home but the burglar could sue you for
assault.

He began to lose ground rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her
lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his Daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing...