[StBernard] Candles burn in memory

[Westley Annis]

Candles burn in memory
Posted by Sheila Stroup, The Times-Picayune December 10, 2008 10:53PM
The Compassionate Friends Memory Garden in Lafreniere Park has a floor made
of bricks engraved in honor of children who have died.

One engraving reads, "Remember me, and I will live forever." That message is
what the Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting is about.

"You don't want people to forget your child. That's your worst fear, "
Denise Pezant said.

Denise is president of the Lakeview-New Orleans chapter of The Compassionate
Friends, an international support group whose mission is to help families
get through the death of a child.

Denise and her husband lost their son Nicholas at 20 in 2005.

"You just don't believe you can go on, " she said. "But you have no other
choice."

3 ceremonies locally

The 12th annual worldwide candle lighting on Sunday will honor the memory of
all deceased children. There will be three ceremonies locally, one in
Chalmette, one in Metairie and one in Hammond.

Candles will be lit at 7 p.m. As they burn down in one time zone, they are
lit in the next.

"The idea is to create a wave of light around the world, " Sandy Chester
said.

The candle lighting is held in December because this time of year is so
difficult for parents after the death of a child.

After Sandy's 3-year-old son Chase died suddenly in 1994, she dreaded
everything about the holidays. "At first, they take your breath away. You
just want them to be over, " she said.

The New Orleans chapter of Compassionate Friends was such a comfort to Sandy
and her husband that when they moved to Loranger she started a chapter in
Tangipahoa Parish.

"It's something I really believe in, " she said. "I know it helps a lot of
people."

Back to Chalmette

For Liz Lemoine, the ceremony will be a reunion as well as a memorial. She
is president of her chapter and the only one who moved back to St. Bernard
Parish after the storm.

"Last year, more than 50 people showed up, and it was really special, " she
said.

Liz has been tending the memorial garden, and she wants people to know they
can order plaques for the memory board.

She also wants grieving families to know that everyone is invited to the
candle lightings and that Compassionate Friends is for parents who've lost
grown children, too.

"Your child will always be your child, " she said. "This is a way for us to
remember and to show our love for them."

. . . . . . .

The ceremonies will begin Sunday at 6:30 p.m. The St. Bernard candle
lighting will be at the Children's Memory Garden in front of the government
complex building in Chalmette. The New Orleans area program will be in
Metairie at the Memorial Garden in Lafreniere Park. The Tangipahoa group
will gather at Cate Square in downtown Hammond. For more information, call
Liz Lemoine at 504.421.3986, Denise Pezant at 504.454.5078 or Sandy Chester
at 985.902.8789.