[StBernard] One liners....

[Westley Annis]

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it
on. 

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I
have six children and no theories. -John Wilmot 

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least. 

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop
laughing. 

Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are
going to be thinking tomorrow. 

Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?. It comes with all of Ken's
stuff 

What's the new and politically correct name for Lesbian? Vagitarian 

Light travels faster than sound This is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak 

First guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive." 

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's
newspaper, that's the time to do it. 

What is invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. 

How do you stop a fish from smelling?.. Cut its nose off 

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was charged with battery. 

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless ? 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm
beginning to believe it. -Clarence Darrow 

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks,
"This taste funny to you?"