[StBernard] IMPORTANT INFO FOR PET OWNERS....

[Westley Annis]

	Why some men have a dog rather than a wife 

<http://blog.ourdoglog.com/2009/05/why-some-men-have-dog-rather-than-wife.ht
ml> 


	1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
	2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
	3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
	4. A dog's parents never visit. Ever......
	5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
across.
	6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a
day.
	7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
	8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
	9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you
get another dog?"
	10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give
them away.
	11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling
you a pervert.
	12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They
just think it's interesting.
	13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
	14. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut
up once you let him in.
	And last, but not least:
	15. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

	
	

	
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	Job Description for Cats 
<http://blog.ourdoglog.com/2008/09/job-description-for-cats.html>  


	
	BATHROOMS - Always accompany guests to the bath room. It is not
necessary to do anything. Just sit & stare.
	DOORS - Do not allow any closed doors ... in any room. To get the
door opened, stand on hind legs & hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened,
it's not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened,
stand half-way in & out & think about several things. This is particularly
important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
	CHAIRS AND RUGS - If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.
If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no
Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you
back up so it's as long as a human's bare foot.
	HAMPERING - If one of your humans is engaged in any activity, and
the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise
known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:
	When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook.
You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and
then picked up and comforted.
	For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book
--unless you can lie across the book itself.
	When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across
keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen, and then lay in human's lap across
arms, hampering typing in progress.
	WALKING - As often as possible, dart quickly & as close as possible
in front of the human... especially on stairs, when they have something in
their arms, in the dark & when they first get up in the morning. This will
help their co-ordination skills.
	BEDTIME - Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move
around.
	LITTER BOX - When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much
litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter
between their toes.
	HIDING - Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot
find you and ... do NOT come out for three to four hours under any
circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love)
thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out... the
humans will cover you with love & kisses, and you probably will get a treat.
	ONE LAST THOUGHT - Whenever possible, get close to a human,
especially their face, then turn around and present your butt to them.
Humans love this, so do it often.