[StBernard] Children and grandchildren

[Westley Annis]

Thought you would all get a kick out of this!!!   



 



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Children and GRANDCHILDREN


To those of us who have children in our lives, 
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T! " 



"Don't what? " 
Adam replied 
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." 
God said 



"Forbidden fruit? 
We have forbidden fruit? 
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! " 






"No Way! " 


"Yes way! "




"No Way! " 


"Yes way! " 


"Do NOT eat the fruit! " 
said God. 





  
"Why ? " 
  

"Because I am your Father and I said so! " 

God replied, 
wondering why He hadn't stopped 
creation after making the elephants. 

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break 
and He was ticked! 

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " 
God asked. 
  


  
"Uh huh," 
Adam replied. 
  
"Then why did you? " 
said the Father.

"I don't know," 
said Eve. 
  

"She started it! " 
Adam said. 
  
"Did not! " 
  
"Did too! " 
  

"DID NOT! " 
  
Having had it with the two of them, 
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve 
should have children of their own. 

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

  
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! 

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
haven't taken it, 
don't be hard on yourself 

If God had trouble raising children, 
what makes you think it would be 
a piece of cake for you? 
 

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT ! 

1. You spend the first two years of their life 
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend 
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 
  

2. Grandchildren are God's reward 
for not killing your own children. 
  
3. Mothers of teens now know why 
some animals eat their young. 
4. Children seldom misquote you. 
In fact, 
they usually repeat word for word 
what you shouldn't have said. 
  
5 The main purpose of holding children's party 
is to remind yourself that there are children 
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, 
but they are still getting in. 
  

  
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: 

Be nice to your kids. 
They will choose your 
nursing home one day. 
  
AND FINALLY: 
  
IF YOU  HAVE A LOT OF TENSION 
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, 
DO WHAT IT SAYS 
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: 
  

  
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" 
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Quick, 
send this on to ten people 
within the next five minutes. 

Nothing will happen if you don't, 
but if you do, 
ten people will be laughing