[StBernard] New Chemical Element Discovered

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Mon Apr 5 23:11:49 EDT 2010


Discovery Announcement ~ The densest element in the known Universe has been
found!

Pelosium:



A major research institution has just announced the
discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has
been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons
randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become
assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the
formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist
to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity
in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical
Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium,
an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as
incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons
as Pelosium.





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