[StBernard] Should I really join facebook? (priceless)

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Fri Jan 21 03:56:49 EST 2011


When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I
ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes
videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up
under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13
grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern
way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140
characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter,
Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix
and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other
program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes
with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next
generation. I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my cell phone in
the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS because they say I get lost every now and
then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under
my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when
I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking
to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to
take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a
long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like
she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then
tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn
instead. Well, it was not a good relationship. When I get really lost now,
I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is
starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves
me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still
haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run
around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty
laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on
something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check
out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to
avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I
just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to
stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a
lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not old enough to feel this way...I sent
it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are...





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