[StBernard] Advice From A Retired Husband

[Westley Annis]

    ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
    
    
    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
over sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over sensitive woman. 
    
    My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol
to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income
and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started
working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home
from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work 
    
    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has
to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
dinner on the table. I generally have lunch each day in the Men's Grill at
the Golf Club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for
some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as
soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the
table for several hours after dinner. 
    
    I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates
this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to
bed. 
    
    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just
smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or
even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her
that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you
know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.. 
    
    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods... She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing
the front lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to
fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as
well make one for me, too. . 
    
    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol.
I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many
men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys,
even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well
worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. 
    
    
    EDITOR'S NOTE: 
    Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police
report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha
Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested
and charged with murder... The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find
her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Ron, somehow without looking,
accidentally sat down on his golf club...