[StBernard] TRUE 951: A Wild Morning | New TRUE Book

[Westley Annis]

SINCE 1994 and reaching at least 44,858 subscribers, this is the 951st
  weekly issue of Randy Cassingham's...

THIS is TRUE: 2 September        Copyright 2012 http://www.thisistrue.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE HELL YOU SAY: Kaitlin Nootbaar was named valedictorian in her class
  at Prague (Okla.) High School, and was asked to give a speech at
  graduation. In her speech she said that when asked what she was going
  to do after graduation, she would reply, "How the hell do I know? I've
  changed my mind so many times." The audience laughed, and applauded
  politely when she sat down. But school officials were furious at her
  using the word -- her script had said "heck". "Your diploma is right
  here," Principal David Smith told her, "but you're not getting it." Not
  until she wrote an apology for "cursing" in her speech. Nootbaar has
  refused. "She earned that diploma," says her father, David Nootbaar.
  "She completed all the state curriculum." He says withholding the
  diploma is illegal. Kaitlin, meanwhile, has started classes at
  Southwest Oklahoma State University -- on a full scholarship -- leaving
  Prague High an international laughingstock. (RC/KFOR Oklahoma City)
  ...I wonder if people would have a little more sympathy for the
  principal's position if the school's mascot wasn't a completely
  unclothed Red Devil? Nah, I don't think so either.

FACEBOOK STALKING: Some universities are requiring student athletes to
  install spyware on their Facebook, Twitter and other social-media
  accounts. The monitoring systems notify campus athletic authorities if
  the students use words that have been listed as potentially
  embarrassing, such as "panties," euphemisms for drugs, and the names of
  sports agents. For example, the University of Kentucky and the
  University of Louisville prohibit more than 400 words, and the software
  has flagged such posts as: "I thought I found the girl of my dreams at
  the strip club." "I don't remember last night, but my credit card
  statement says I had a kick-ass time." and "God is the only one who can
  heal me, help me & fight for me." (Apparently athletes aren't supposed
  to say "fight.") Student athletes from the schools who were interviewed
  were OK with the practice. One said it had helped her learn caution in
  social media -- and she hadn't heard complaints from any other
  athletes. (AC/Louisville Courier-Journal) ...That's the scariest part.

      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

      Lending Roxx is where you can learn some basics about lending
          and lenders in general. Get your questions answered on
      topics ranging from the process of borrowing money to how you
     pay back the various types of loan options that are available.
                Visit http://www.LendingRoxx.com for more.

      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

                         LAST WEEK's newsletter:
                 http://www.thisistrue.com/lastweek.html

IN THE LINE OF DUTY: You may remember former U.S. Senator Larry Craig
  from when he was caught in the Minneapolis, Minn., airport men's room,
  soliciting certain ...uh... favors from an undercover officer in the
  next stall with "foot taps." Now the Federal Election Commission is
  suing him, saying he misused $217,000 in campaign funds to defend
  himself. Not so, says Craig's lawyer, Andrew Herman. "Not only was the
  trip itself constitutionally required, but Senate rules sanction
  reimbursement for any cost relating to a senator's use of a bathroom
  while on official travel," Herman said in a filing. He cites a previous
  case, where Senator Jim Kolbe defended himself against allegations of
  improper behavior following a Grand Canyon rafting trip with two former
  male pages. In that case, the FEC determined his defense expenses were
  "ordinary and necessary expenses incurred in connection with his duty
  as a House member." Herman concludes that "Simply put, no principled
  distinction can be drawn between the Kolbe matter and this case."
  (MS/AP) ...It really says something that "legal defense of criminal
  charges" should be considered a normal part of a Senator's duties.

WAS HE WEARING HIS CLOWN SHOES, TOO? Police in Boulder, Colo., were
  called to investigate a man sleeping in his Porsche with the engine
  running -- he had also apparently parked partly on the sidewalk. The
  driver got out when officers arrived, and reportedly staggered and
  smelled of alcohol. He was also confused as to whether he had just left
  a benefit at 11:00 a.m. or 11:00 p.m. The actual time was 5:20 p.m. The
  man then told officers to just mail him his "citation or whatever," and
  tried to get back into his car. Officers would not let him, and he
  allegedly refused to submit to sobriety tests, threatening to become
  "medieval" and promising he would "have their badges." The man, George
  Brian Boedecker Jr., 51, a co-founder of the Crocs shoe company, denied
  driving: his girlfriend had been, he claimed. Where is she? He pointed
  and said "Nashville." Who is she? The famous 22-year-old singer-
  songwriter Taylor Swift, he said. Police took him into custody on a
  charge of driving under the influence. (RC/Boulder Daily Camera)
  ...Asleep in a running car parked on the sidewalk: explainable. Claims
  Taylor Swift is his girlfriend: clearly drunk.

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT: "'Her Booty Looked So
  Good,' Accused North Lauderdale Groper Says" -- South Florida
  Sun-Sentinel headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

THIS WEEK'S CONTRIBUTORS: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy
  Cassingham.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! There's a new entry on my blog about what my wife
  and I did at 4:00 Monday morning: jumped out of bed to help a
  helicopter land in the highway. Yes, it's another of my "EMS Stories"
  that (after I posted a note on Facebook about it), TRUE contributing
  writer Alexander Cohen suggested, "You should include this story in
  True. Most people probably don't even realize trained people on the
  ground are useful (necessary?) for such helicopter operations."
  Granted! The title of the story is an Old Medic truism: EMS is "Hours
  of Boredom Punctuated by Moments of Sheer Terror". It's at
  http://ThisIsTrue.com/d-boredom-terror

  Also, Amazon finally approved publication of Volume 6 of the This is
  True book series on Kindle this morning, "This is True: Platform Shoes
  Claim Another Life" (book titles come from real a "headline of the
  week" in that volume). The direct link for Amazon USA or (new) India:
  http://hop2.cc/v6 . For links to the book in Amazon France, UK,
  Germany, Italy and Spain, as well as links to all the other available
  TRUE-related books, see http://www.thisistrue.com/books.html

YOU CAN STILL READ THE REST of the stories: this week there were 13
  stories in the full edition, so this free sampler had less than a third
  of the total. You missed: A 9-year-old boy found his city is over $100
  million in debt, so he pitches in to help. Just WHY was the meth bust
  so easy for the cops? Well pulled over, Florida woman tries to throw
  the cop off the scent, but.... When pulled over, Florida woman flees --
  the amusing part is why. Cops called because men are drinking while
  driving WHAT down the street?! City councilman resigns in embarrassment
  after being caught doing WHAT?! Judge tells man he's going to give him
  a break, but man demands the maximum (and makes sure he gets it). Man
  confident he can't be prosecuted for his crimes because he let the
  Statute of Limitations expire, but.... Man tries to carjack the wrong,
  Wrong, WRONG car. To read these stories, just ask for your upgrade to
  start with the 2 September issue: http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

THE NEW GOOHF PRODUCT released last week is a hit. I'm surprised that
  there have been no complaints about it: a "rainbow" LGBT (& S!) Get Out
  of Hell Free card. In just the first week, thousands of them have been
  ordered by people of all stripes in California, Arizona, Indiana,
  Illinois, New York, Missouri, Canada, Maine, Arkansas, Georgia,
  Slovenia, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Great Britain, Colorado,
  Maryland, Ohio, Texas, North Dakota, Kansas, Virginia, Tennessee, New
  Jersey, Massachusetts, Vermont, Washington DC, Wisconsin, and Chile.
  Wow! http://www.GetOutOfHellfree.com/pride.html has the card and
  explanation. Or, see the full range of products (yes, we DO still have
  travel mugs!) at https://secure.thisistrue.com/goohf.html

                                  o o o

THE LATEST POSTING TO JUMBO JOKE: 35th Wedding Anniversary (women will
  especially like this one). http://www.JumboJoke.com

      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------
                    THE METAPHYSICAL QUALITIES OF GEMS

             Not just diamonds and emeralds, but crystals and
                   everything from amber to turquoise.
              Learn what makes people so fascinated by gems.

                        http://www.GemFanatics.com
      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Burglar is so weighed down by the pile of loot
  that he's Darwinized. http://www.thisistrue.com/8299

  And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
  your Android, BlackBerry, iPhone, or other web-enabled phone!

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.ExtremePumpkins.com -- Extreme
  Pumpkins. You're getting a lot of notice: Halloween is coming up in
  about eight weeks, so how about some *really* scary Jack-o-Lanterns?
  Extreme Pumpkins is "the" clearinghouse for best of each year's carved
  gourds going back for years, with great photo ideas for something
  different for a change. There are how-to's, strategy tips, preservation
  ideas, free patterns, and (did I mention?) lots and lots of photos.
  Take some time to explore, prepare, and *really* scare the candy-greedy
  kids this year!
  (Originally published 12 October 2003)
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Malcolm Browne. A news
  photographer, Browne was in the right place at the right time to
  provide the impetus to start an international conversation on a big
  issue of the time: the Vietnam War. For the story see
  http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/malcolm_browne.html

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
  friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
  newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
  and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
  was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com
  Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA
  (ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature
  column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc

COPYRIGHT 2012 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
  completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. ALL broadcast,
  publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, WWW or any other copying
  or storage, in any medium, online or not, is STRICTLY PROHIBITED
  without PRIOR written permission from the author. MANUAL FORWARDING by
  e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is forwarded IN ITS
  ENTIRETY, from the "Since 1994" line on top through the end of this
  paragraph and 2) NO FEE is charged. We REQUEST that you forward no more
  than three copies to any one person -- after that, they should get
  their own FREE subscription. We ALWAYS appreciate people who report
  violations of our copyright to us.

ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway, CO 81432, USA