[StBernard] Living Will -- check last paragraph

Westley Annis westley at da-parish.com
Tue Oct 23 07:58:30 EDT 2012


Thought this might come in handy for you too......




LIVING WILL FORM



I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be
put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or
lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If after a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for:
(Check appropriate items): a Martini ______, a Margarita ______, a Bourbon
and soda ______, a Bloody Mary______, a beer ______, a Gin and Tonic
_______, a Glass of Rioja______, a Steak ______, Lobster or crab legs
______, the TV remote control ______, a bowl of ice cream ______, the sports
page______, Sex______, or Chocolate_______, it should be presumed that I
won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby
instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel
in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New
Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come and do their thing at my funeral, and ask
all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have
had.

Signature:________________________Date:__________

P.S. I hear that in Ireland there is a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients
are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need
embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy
place, PLEASE pass it on.

Amendment #1: Should, before November 2012, I become incapacitated as
described above, DO NOT PULL THE PLUG until after I have voted against
Barack Obama by absentee ballot in the election.





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