[StBernard] Unemployment by Abbott & Costello

[Westley Annis]

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America . 

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It's 7.8%. 

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? 

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7% 

COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.

ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed. 

COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work. 

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%. 

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%. 

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%? 

ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work. 

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. 

ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the
unemployed, it makes President Obama's employment numbers look bad!     You
have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! 

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point? 

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who
look for work.  It wouldn't be fair. 

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed. 

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work. 

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out
of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks
of the unemployed. 

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls that would count as less
unemployment? 

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? 

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise
it would be 14.7%.   President Obama doesn't want you to read about 14.7%
unemployment, it makes him look bad, incompetent, and makes him look like he
doesn't have a clue what he is doing as President
 
COSTELLO: That would be tough on the Democrats running for re-election. 
 
ABBOTT: Absolutely!
 
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to
bring down the unemployment number? 

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. 

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? 

ABBOTT: Correct. 

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? 

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier
of the two is to have people stop looking for work. 

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democratic Economist. 

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! 

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Congressman.



 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

			

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

	 

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 cid:1.1803872311 at web184703.mail.ne1.yahoo.com

 
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America . 

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times.  It's 7.8%. 

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? 

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7% 

COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.

ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed. 

COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work. 

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%. 

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%. 

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%? 

ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work. 

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. 

ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the
unemployed, it makes President Obama's employment numbers look bad!     You
have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! 

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point? 

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who
look for work.  It wouldn't be fair. 

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed. 

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work. 

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out
of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks
of the unemployed. 

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls that would count as less
unemployment? 

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? 

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise
it would be 14.7%.   President Obama doesn't want you to read about 14.7%
unemployment, it makes him look bad, incompetent, and makes him look like he
doesn't have a clue what he is doing as President
 
COSTELLO: That would be tough on the Democrats running for re-election. 
 
ABBOTT: Absolutely!
 
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to
bring down the unemployment number? 

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. 

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? 

ABBOTT: Correct. 

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? 

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier
of the two is to have people stop looking for work. 

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democratic Economist. 

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! 

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Congressman.