[StBernard] new musical terms

[Westley Annis]

	Folks...these are GOOD!
	
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	Latest additions to the esteemed Harvard Dictionary of Music: 
	
	ALLREGRETTO: When you're 16 measures into the piece and realize you
took too fast a tempo 
	
	ANGUS DEI: To play with a divinely beefy tone 
	
	A PATELLA: Accompanied by knee-slapping 
	
	APPOLOGGIATURA: A composition that you regret playing 
	
	APPROXIMATURA: A series of notes not intended by the composer, yet
played with an "I meant to do that" attitude 
	
	APPROXIMENTO: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity
of the correct pitch 
	
	CACOPHANY: A composition incorporating many people with chest colds 
	
	CORAL SYMPHONY: A large, multi-movement work from Beethoven's
Caribbean Period 
	
	DILL PICCOLINI: An exceedingly small wind instrument that plays only
sour notes 
	
	FERMANTRA: A note held over and over and over and over and . . . 
	
	FERMOOTA: A note of dubious value held for indefinite length 
	
	FIDDLER CRABS: Grumpy string players 
	
	FLUTE FLIES: Those tiny mosquitoes that bother musicians on outdoor
gigs 
	
	FRUGALHORN: A sensible and inexpensive brass instrument 
	
	GAUL BLATTER: A French horn player 
	
	GREGORIAN CHAMP: The title bestowed upon the monk who can hold a
note the longest 
	
	GROUND HOG: Someone who takes control of the repeated bassline and
won't let anyone else play it 
	
	PLACEBO DOMINGO: A faux tenor 
	
	SCHMALZANDO: A sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band 
	
	THE RIGHT OF STRINGS: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Violists 
	
	SPRITZICATO: An indication to string instruments to produce a bright
and bubbly sound 
	
	TEMPO TANTRUM: What an elementary school orchestra is having when
it's not following the conductor (also common in municipal bands and
community orchestras) 
	
	TROUBLE CLEF: Any clef one can't read: e.g., alto clef for pianists 
	
	VESUVIOSO: An indication to build up to a fiery conclusion 
	
	VIBRATTO: Child prodigy son of the concertmaster 
	
	AN-DANTE: A tempo that's infernally slow 
	
	ANTIPHONAL: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the
concert hall 
	
	BAR LINE: What musicians form after the concert 
	
	BASSO CONTINUO: When musicians are still fishing long after the
legal season has ended 
	
	BEN SOSTENUTO: First cousin of the second trombonist 
	
	CADENZA: Something that happens when you forget what the composer
wrote 
	
	CANTABILE: To achieve a complaining sound, as if you have a sour
stomach 
	
	COL LEGNO: An indication to cellists to hold on tight with their
lower extremities 
	
	CON SORDINO: An indication to string players to bow in a slashing,
rapier motion 
	
	ESPRESSIVO: Used to indicate permission to take a coffee break 
	
	L'ISTESSO TEMPO: An indication to play listlessly; e.g., as if you
don't care 
	
	MAESTRO: A person who, standing in front of the orchestra and/or
chorus, is able to follow them precisely 
	
	OPERA BUFFA: A musical stage production performed by nudists 
	
	PASTORALE: The beverage to drink in the country when listening to
Beethoven with a member of the clergy 
	
	PESANTE: An effect distinctly non-upper-class 
	
	PIZZICATO: Too much coffee -- time to take a break 
	
	RUBATO: A cross between a rhubarb and a tomato 
	
	STRINGENDO: An unpleasant effect produced by the violin section when
it doesn't use vibrato 
	
	VIBRATO: A device to assist female performers who have trouble when
the music is marked "con espressivo"