[StBernard] GETTING OLDER ???

[Westley Annis]

	As another year rolls around, you may want to check out these signs
that you are getting older:
	 
	. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

	. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals.

	. You keep repeating yourself.

	. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.

	. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.

	. Your children begin to look middle aged.

	. You keep repeating yourself.

	. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning
against the wrong wall.

	. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

	. You look forward to a dull evening.

	. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."

	. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

	. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

	. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

	. You keep repeating yourself.

	. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 105 around the
golf course.

	. Your back goes out more than you do.

	. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

	. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine
cabinet.

	. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

	. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

	. You're proud of your lawn mower.

	. You keep repeating yourself.