[StBernard] Expanding higher ed access for low income students

[Westley Annis]

Mr. Jer,

John wanted to respond to you, but I told him I wanted to since your
commentary inevitably implicates me and I feel you and others would have a
better understanding of his humorous story if it came from me.

Johnny showed me what he wrote because he knew I would get a laugh out it
because it reminded me of what happened that day, which I found to be funny.

Spouses, like good friends will often have a running joke or inside joke
between them.  Even it is sexual or of a serious subject in nature.  You are
probably right, the two of you are very different, but not because of this
issue.  First, I would have been shocked for him to respond in the way you
did had the tale come from you.  I think it would have been very obvious to
him this was an inside joke between you and your wife.  Plus I think he
would have given you a little more credit that you would have the good
sense, as he does, to only joke about matters you were confident your wife
could handle, and might even find funny.  I guess that comes from knowing
your spouse well, and Johnny knows me well.  More importantly, I know him
well.  So I believe it is perfectly ok for spouses to joke over things they
each know the other is very secure about.  In fact I find such things could
be healthy in a relationship since it could help spouses learn the security
boundaries of the ot
 her, or so I have heard some relationship experts say.  You just have to
know each other well, and if you do then "yes" it can be clean fun.

He is much better at writing and telling jokes than I am so he does not like
to explain too much and likes to get to the punch line.  I guess he thinks
people will find the joke or story funnier.  In the story he told he left
out a lot of details, like I wanted him to get an autograph picture of Jeri
Ryan because I am as big a fan of hers and the program as he is.  When he
called me about learning of her being at the hotel that day I told him to
try and get to meet her, and get the picture.  It was I who reminded him of
the running joke we had about him being goo goo over her and I over Don
Johnson.

I do not have to speak of his character because if I thought he had poor
character or would be unfaithful or whatever then I would not still be
married to him.  I would think he would say the same about me.  He is
probably the most loyal person I have ever known.  Not just because of who
and what he is and how he treats me, but because I know how important
loyalty is to him.  A few  years ago I got to meet one of his college
professors from Loyola who was a priest, a Fr. Duffy.  He told me a story
about Johnny and how they became such good friends over the years.  He told
me about one day in his class when they were talking about human virtues.
He called on Johnny and asked him which of the virtues is most important.
His reply was Loyalty.  Fr. Duffy told him that's not one of the virtues.
He said Johnny's come back was it should be because to adhere to true
loyalty encompasses all the other virtues.  Fr. Duffy said he was impressed
with him and immediately knew the kind o
 f character he possessed, and they remained friends until Fr. Duffy's
recent death.

I told Fr. Duffy I already knew that of him.  Johnny can be very
opinionated, but is equally thoughtful to listens to and considers the
opposite view point.  Though he might not always show it or express it, he
can be self righteous, but at the same time he is never indignant toward
those he disagrees with or criticizes as lacking principles or morals.  I
guess what I'm trying to say is he is respectful of others.

I didn't mean to get sidetracked with that but I wanted you to understand
that about him and the fact that you need to give him, us, enough credit
that for him to share that story with everyone shows we know each other
well, trust each other well and are smart enough to know when the other is
just trying to be funny.

Please do not misunderstand.  I am not angry, I am not trying to get on your
case or claim you were trying to be directly critical of him.  I realize
your comments were also intended to be in general for all to think about,
but you did make an implication of you two supposedly being different.  I am
not the kind of spouse that feels like I have to defend him because he can
do a good job of that for himself.  I just wanted you to know who he from a
different perspective, from his wife who knows him and likes him just the
way he is.

My comments here are much longer than I intended.  I guess this was a long
comment simply to say "Johnny's story was just a joke and was meant to be
entertaining, so lighten up!"

You can respond if you want but it is not necessary since I do not feel
there is anything more for me to say about this.

take care,
Roxanne Scurich