[StBernard] BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Thu Jun 19 22:16:51 EDT 2008


BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing
didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard
only
the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you
pick up
the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you
can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off
with
some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________

Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
need it
or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if
needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby
Zoo,
Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
cleaners.
_____________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home
five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees
blood.
______________________________________________________

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children
______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to
the
hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch
for the
coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
allowance!


_____________________________________________________________________


GRANDCHILDREN:

God's reward for allowing your children to live.
------------------------------------------------------------





mah





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