[StBernard] THIS is TRUE #756: 7 December

[Westley Annis]

SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 108,000 subscribers in over 200
   countries, this is the 756th weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 7 December 2008         Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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WILD DATE: Anthony Zitnick, 21, allegedly took a 16-year-old girl into
   the home of an animal collector -- uninvited -- to show her the wild
   animals kept in the North Miami-Dade, Fla., home. Neighbors say Zitnick
   was trying to "impress" the teen, and became aware of their intrusion
   when "I heard her scream, 'I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!'," said
   Richard Miralles, who lives next door. He is familiar with the cats, so
   he jumped a fence and ran in to find the girl's head in the mouth of a
   150-pound cougar, who was biting down, and Zitnick looking on in shock.
   Keeping the animals is apparently legal: the resident, a retired
   science teacher, has proper permits, authorities say. Miralles saved
   the girl, and carried her out to wait for an ambulance. (Miami Herald)
   ...Zitnick: not too impressive. Miralles: pretty darned impressive. See
   the difference, boy?

THE LONG, UPHILL BATTLE: The "mindless" attempts by government and
   society to eliminate all dangers in life are threatening personal
   freedom, says Tom Mullarkey, chief of the U.K.'s Royal Society for the
   Prevention of Accidents. "The application of common sense and balance
   is much more reasonable than the seeking of mindless increments towards
   'absolute safety'," he said, which is "a destination which is neither
   feasible nor, in all probability, desirable, since it would come at
   such cost to our freedoms." While some areas obviously need regulation,
   he says, such as nuclear power and aviation, individuals should merely
   be given information on safety and be allowed to make their own
   decisions on whether risks are worth taking, so long as they don't put
   others in danger. (London Telegraph) ...The mindless elimination of all
   dangers: malarkey. The new patron saint of common sense: Mullarkey.

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NOT QUITE HOME FREE: A car reported stolen in Beachwood, N.J., was
   spotted in nearby Toms River. Officers there started following, and the
   driver turned into a side street and ducked into a driveway in hopes of
   eluding his pursuers. It didn't work: "Of about 34,000 homes in Toms
   River, this guy pulls into my driveway," said Toms River Police Chief
   Michael Mastronardy, who was one of the officers following the stolen
   car. The driver, George Parker, 49, was captured in the chief's
   driveway. (Asbury Park Press) ..."He followed me home, and we're going
   to keep him" -- the police version.

I'M GONNA WASH THAT MAN RIGHT OUT OF MY HAIR: An unnamed woman called
   police in Port St. Lucie, Fla., to report that her ex-boyfriend had
   stolen her wig. The 20-year-old said she was out walking at 3:00 a.m.
   when her ex rode up on a bicycle. They argued, and the man grabbed the
   black wig that was "sewn" to her blonde hair, slapped her, and rode
   off. She told officers she had lived with the man for eight months --
   but could only remember his first name. Investigating officers are
   stalled until they get more information. (Port St Lucie News) ..."Let's
   see: he snored. He left the cap off the toothpaste. He always left the
   toilet seat up...."

BOOMERS REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS CIGARETTES: "Rugged Individualism, Beer
   Linked" -- San Antonio (Texas) Express-News headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

"BEST.TRUE.VIDEO.EVER!" posted Lauri in Oklahoma in response to my video
   effort this week. It is a pretty pure TRUE effort: a slanted look at a
   very serious situation that ended in ultimate justice, punctuated by
   what a lot of viewers agree was a pretty funny tagline, made funnier by
   the video than just reading it. There's even a fun little 'Easter Egg'
   at the end, too. http://ThisIsTrue.net/d-vid26

MY BLOG HAS AN "extra" story this week, too: a sort-of "compare and
   contrast" bit with a story from 2001 ...which could possibly even have
   been the recent robbers' inspiration. Both the 2001 and 2008 stories
   are posted: http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-echo_from_the_past.html

                                   o o o

EVERY YEAR, I offer to work Christmas so you don't have to: Premium
   upgrade gift subscriptions are a popular every year, in part because I
   am fine with sending out your gift announcement when YOU want it to go
   out. Christmas eve? Fine. Christmas day? You bet. Boxing Day? Just say
   the word. http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html -- and just put your
   recipient's name AND carefully-checked e-mail address in the comments
   area, along with any special instructions. (No special instructions? We
   start the gift right away.)

IN JANUARY I'LL BE rolling out a new "Get Out of Hell Free" product. I
   got the samples recently, and I'm quite pleased. People I show them to
   say "Wow!" -- which is exactly what I hoped for. The best part: it's
   not expensive. Of course, as always, Premium subscribers will get to
   order them first, but this one *isn't* a limited-edition product, so
   you'll definitely get your chance once the initial order surge calms
   down. If you'd like to get in on it early, consider giving a Premium
   upgrade to yourself as a gift this year! Meanwhile, the GOOHF site,
   which is next on our "desperately needs a new design" list, is at
   http://www.GOOHF.com

TRUE CAN USE *YOUR* HELP: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
   friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
   newsletter, right? Please pass the favor on! That's really all it takes
   to help TRUE grow. Thanks.

AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Arriving In Heaven ...is not
   what everyone thought. (And if you enjoyed last Friday's entry, which
   URL was passed around a LOT, be sure you see Monday's "equal time"
   rejoinder, "The Perfect Man"!) http://www.JumboJoke.com

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TO SUBMIT STORIES and vote on what submissions are best, register for
   free at http://Groxx.com

PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS got LOTS MORE stories on Monday: Rapper had an alibi
   for the time of the shooting, so maybe he shouldn't have released a
   song about shooting the guy until AFTER the trial. Clever robbers have
   plenty of victims. Bishop identifies what's wrong with the church:
   parishioners are getting educated. After three convictions for driving
   without insurance, man figures out way to avoid a fourth (but it's such
   a bad idea, he ends up in much worse trouble). A full year of expanded
   issues is just $24: http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Is stealing baby Jesus figurines out of nativity
   scenes a new trend? Heck no: here's a fairly amusing example from 1998:
   http://www.thisistrue.com/frankenonsense_6251.html

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.FreeConferenceCall.com -- Free
   Conference Call. Need to get a group of people on the phone at the same
   time? This free teleconferencing service is simple to use, requiring
   only a name and an email address to receive an instant account. They
   will provide you with a dedicated dial-in number and an access code for
   their free teleconferencing services, which are ready for immediate
   use. Your free teleconferencing line is available to you 24/7. There is
   no need to schedule a meeting or make reservations. Each free
   teleconferencing account accommodates up to 96 callers on an unlimited
   number of 6-hour conference calls (groups larger than 96 require a paid
   account). They don't even make you listen to ads. If you wish, you can
   also record & play back the entire call, also free. Regular long
   distance charges apply, but there are no charges from the site. (EK)
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Bob Spiers. After college,
   Spires got a job at the British Broadcasting Company as a production
   assistant. He worked his way up -- and settled on a specialty: he ended
   up as a director of comedy shows, including "Are You Being Served?" He
   was brought in to direct "Fawlty Towers" in 1979, which earned him his
   first BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television Arts) award, and
   then "Not the Nine O'Clock News". He is best known as being the
   director for "Absolutely Fabulous" during its entire run, which brought
   him his second BAFTA award. He also directed the Spice Girls film,
   "Spice World", at the height of the group's popularity. He died
   December 8 at 63.
AND SO LONG to prolific pinup model Bettie Page, dead December 11 after a
   heart attack. She was 85.
-- Honorary Unsubscribe archive: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
   and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
   was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

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