[StBernard] coming to America

[Westley Annis]

             A beautiful fairy appeared one day
to a destitute 
             refugee outside a Maryland
immigration office.

             'Good
man,' the fairy said,
'I've been sent here by President
Obama and
told to grant you three wishes, since you just
arrived in the
United States with your wife and five
children.'

             The man told the
fairy.  'Well,
where I come from we don't have good
teeth, so I
want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

             The fairy looked
at the man's
almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- he had
a brand
new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

  'What else?' asked the fairy,
'two more to go.'

             The refugee
claimant now got bolder.
'I need a bi g house with a three car
garage in
Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms
for my
family and
the rest of my relatives who still live in my
country.
I want to bring them all over here . . . and --
PING !
-- in the distance there could be seen a
beautiful mansion
with a three car garage, a long driveway, a
walkout patio
with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking
the bay.

     'One more wish', said
the fairy, waving her wand.



'Yes, one more wish.  I want to be
like an American with 
          American clothes instead of these
torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of
this turban.
And I want to have white skin like
Americans . .. .
and -- PING! -- The man was transformed, wearing
worn out
jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball
cap.  He had
his bad teeth back and the mansion had
disappeared from
the horizon.

             'What
happened to my new
teeth?' he wailed.  'Where is my
new house?'

             THIS IS GOOD . .
. . . . . .



             NO, ACTUALLY THIS
IS VERY GOOD . . .
. . . . .





             The fairy said
'Tough shit, Mac,
Now that you are a White American, you have
to fend
  for yourself.'

             And she
disappeared.