[StBernard] ARE WE OLD YET???

[Westley Annis]

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During
a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they
might want to start writing things down to help them remember 

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair..
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 


'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 



'Sure.' 



'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.




'No, I can remember it.' 



'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it
down, so's not to forget it?' 



He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries.'

 
'I'd also like whipped cream.  I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks. 


Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!  Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' 


Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She
stares at the plate for a moment and says...

 
'Where's my toast ?' 

 

*****************************************

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:  'So I hear you're
getting married?' 



'Yep!' 



'Do I know her?' 



'Nope!' 



'This woman, is she good looking?' 



'Not really.' 



'Is she a good cook?' 



'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 



'Does she have lots of money?' 



'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 



'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 



'I don't know.' 



'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 



'Because she can still drive!' 

*****************************************

Three ole guys are out walking. 


First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' 


Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' 



Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' 

*****************************************


A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me
four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 


'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 


'Twelve thirty.' 

*****************************************

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 


A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. 


A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really
doing great, aren't you?' 



Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'


The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be
careful.' 

*******************************************



One more. . .

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.  After catching his breath, he ordered a
banana split. 


The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 


'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' 

Like those? Now, before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you
know who could use a good laugh. 

 

Rena