[StBernard] A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

[Westley Annis]

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION


 The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman.And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a
disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell
you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last
words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home,
and this young lady here asked me for a lift.. She looked so down and out
and defenseless that I took pity on her and let
her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told
me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her
home and warmed up the enchiladas I
made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid
you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

>>Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was

doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full
of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had
for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear
just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots
you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work
has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the
door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 

"Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"