[StBernard] 2008 Darwin Awards

[Westley Annis]

The 2008 Darwin Awards 

 

 Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. 

 Here is the glorious winner: 

 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long    Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again.   This time it worked!And now, the honorable
mentions: 

 2.The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He
tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.4.. After stopping for drinks
at an illegal bar, a  Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had
escaped. Not wanting to admit his 

incompetence,  the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and

prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he  received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to

see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit..


>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the  counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the 

clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got  from
the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you 

money, is a crime committed?] 


>



>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his 

head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief   on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. 

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car  and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,

'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.' 


>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said hecouldn't open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]


>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor

home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and

plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The
owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.


>In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends

and family... unless of course, one of these above-mentioned individuals is,
by chance, a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad
they are distant and hope they remain lost. 

 *** Remember... They walk among us!!!*No virus found in this incoming
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	From: Lynne Soreth <sorethx2 at yahoo.com>

	Subject: Fw: Fwd: FW: Fwd: 2008 Darwin Awards

	To: "Ed Dunmyer" <eddie345 at cfl.rr.com>, "Rich Runt"
<bulldogrunt at yahoo.com>, NJturkeyridge at msn.com

	Date: Saturday, April 11, 2009, 6:32 PM

	

	





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Subject: FW: Fwd: 2008 Darwin Awards







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From: John T Carpenter <jtc17601 at comcast.net <mailto:jtc17601 at comcast..net 

Subject: FW: Fwd: 2008 Darwin Awards

To: nmc17601 at comcast.net, xxx_mood at yahoo.com

Date: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 12:59 AM 



The 2008 Darwin Awards Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the
glorious winner: 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now,
the honorable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger
in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim
was approved. 



3 .  A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her. 4.. After stopping for drinks at an
illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he
was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence,  the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered
for 3 days. 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A
man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief   on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. 8. As a female shopper
exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The
clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse from.' 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER] 10. When a man attempted to
siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had. In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
friends and family... unless of course, one of these above-mentioned
individuals is, by chance, a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that
case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost. *** Remember...
They walk among us!!! *