[StBernard] Mermaid or Whale?

[Westley Annis]

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan
woman appeared in the window of a gym.  It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of
the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the
gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans).  They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales.  They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves
with shrimp.  They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are
wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.  They are incredible creatures
and virtually have no predators other than humans.  They are loved,
protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.  If they did exist, they would be lining up outside
the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis.  Fish or
human?  They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to
them not to mention how could they have sex?  Therefore they don't have kids
either.  Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who's skin is all
scaly and smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me... I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only
skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my
grandkids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a latte with my
friends.  With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much
information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it
distributes out to the rest of our bodies.  So we aren't heavy, we are
enormously cultured, educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my
butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am"! 

 

Rena