[StBernard] SOUTHERN BAPTIST LADY

[Westley Annis]

The lady was a Southern Baptist.  She attended services and taught Sunday
School at the local Tabernacle Baptist church in South Carolina.

One Sunday an out-of-town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right
behind her.  He noted what a fine looking woman she was.
 
While they were taking up the collection the man leaned forward and said,
"How about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"  


He appeared to be a fine gentleman.  "Why yes that would be lovely" she
responded.  

 

Well the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.  On Tuesday he picked the lady
up and took her to the finest restaurant in South Carolina.

When they sat down the gentleman suggested, "Would you like a cocktail
before dinner?"  "Oh No!" said our circumspect fine example of southern
womanhood, "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

 

Well our gentleman was set back a bit so he didn't say much until after
dinner when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes.  He asked, "Would you like a
smoke?"


"My goodness gracious, No!" said the woman.  "I couldn't face my Sunday
School class if I did!"

 

Well our boy felt pretty low after that so they soon left the place, got in
his car, and as he was driving the lady home they passed by the local
Holiday Inn.  He'd been morally rebuffed twice already so he figured he had
nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, "Ahhh... mmm how would you like
to stop at this hotel?"



"Sure that would be lovely" she said in anticipation. 

 

The gentleman couldn't believe his own ears and did an immediate U-turn and
drove to the hotel.  The next morning, after a wonderful rendezvous, the
gentleman woke up. He looked at the sleeping lovely Dixie darling lying
there in bed.  A remorseful thought crossed his mind, What the hell have I
done?  He woke her up and pleaded, "I've got to ask you one thing.  Whatever
are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"  

 

The lovely Dixie said, "The same thing I always tell them. You don't have to
smoke and drink to have a good time."