[StBernard] Divorce agreement

[Westley Annis]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT


Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al: 
 
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but
the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile
and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
 
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking
a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
 
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. 
 
 
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA
and the military.
 
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar
and biodiesel.
 
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
 
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
 
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
 
--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood 

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us.
 
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way
of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
 
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and
Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying
the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
 
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
 
--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  
 
 
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
 
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the
World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle
up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. 
 
 
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you can answer which one of us
will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen,
Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It
Will Start Sinking In?