[StBernard] possible counceling

[Westley Annis]

Jesse,
 
   You couldn't be more right. The one thing different I did though was as I
bought these things for my kids was explain what we lost was "stuff,"
nothing more and nothing less. Don't get me wrong this was the hardest point
to sell to two teenagers but here's what I did. As I needed" stuff" for the
house, I always made sure I brought something back for them (it wasn't
always big items either, sometimes just stuff on clearance somewhere)- my 14
yr old daughter was clothes or makeup, my 12 yr old nephew his bike, a used
playstation, etc. As I gave it to them I always said, see "stuff", we can
always get new stuff. As the weeks unfolded they heard of friends family
members not making it, and it really helped them to get it. All we lost was
"stuff" nothing else. Our whole family is alive and well. We now have a
house with too much "stuff" but they finally got it. Pictures, videos,
mementos, etc are sometimes hard to dismiss that way. But I tell them, who
were the pictures for- me. I have all of my memories and if I ever get to a
point where I can't remember, those damned pictures aren't going to help
anyway :). I know it's a sick way to look at it but it's the truth. Instead,
I have started giving the kids a different kind of memory- we started
telling stories of their childhood. Many African tribes use the verbal
stories as a way to keep their family history, and that's what I have begun
and this has helped too because they contribute. How many funny things
couln't be caught on tape or film, you just had to be there. I make them
bring me there- thereby keeping the family's history together Can you tell I
have nothing better to do in Maine than think of crazy things to do with the
kids? With the younger ones, there;'s only one thing to do- love them and
help them to feel safe. Let them know home isn't in a building but where you
and the family are. The first thing I did with the kids was go and have
pictures done. Why? I wanted my house to feel like a home and have already
hung the pictures. Hope this helps
 
Wendy Hall