[StBernard] Safe to Move Back?

[Westley Annis]

"Jer, I totally understand your fear of the oil spill area and I respect
your decision not come back, however I just felt like it was made with bad
information or with rumors.  I lived in the oil spill area (Plaza near Judge
Perez) and I decided not to move my family back there" --Chad.

**Chad, MY decision to relocate was not based on bad info, misdirection or
rumors. I've spend considerable weeks in St. Bernard up until late Fall,
2006. 

By no way was it based on my good friends of St. Bernard as well. It was
made with my sense of smell, sight, taste, feel and sounds while I remained
there cleaning, gutting, demoing, --while in the oil spill area.

What made my decision was being forced to come back under those conditions
breaking my back and spirit. Spending countless weeks cleaning toxins (of
which I'm now suffering respiratory and fears of health problems not yet
diagnosed) developing rashes that lasted months and now gastro-intestinal
problems. While in my last weeks there, I nearly choked to death, suffered a
heatstroke and possible heart attack, combined with anxiety attacks that
would make those in mental hospitals smile at their good luck.

I wasn't alone as my family of 4 can attest similar situations. Protective
clothing and masks did little under the situations. I now fear many
permanent scars and problems are forthcoming.

During the 1st year there, I experienced dispair culminating in my own as I
passed out from summer heat attemping to please my neighbors, government and
friends. With the "camel's back broken by a mere straw", I succumbed,
deciding to having the homestead ripped apart by a demolition team at
Chrismas time. 

We suffered, because we had to do so. I'm not alone. Coupled with problems
beyond expenses and delays in funding to us, my view of St. Bernard looked
bleak in the short term. Everyone from St. Bernard had similar experiences.
Some fared better than others, but with those who had positions or
obligations to stay the choice was 1/2 made up for them. The other 1/2 to
make up had to do with "short-memories". I'd gather that most people my age
made the decision that after Betsy and Katrina (and yes, Rita), there were
no "3 time losers" in their planning. To some who brave storms (ex. Those
who stay beyond to guard their properties, have a duty to do their jobs,
etc.), it's a given. Stay, rehab and hope the best for them, family and
friends. 

For those whose emotional health and loss of life are at stake, it's
safe-haven for them. 

Tonight I grieved at watching Discovery Channel's 1 yr. special called "St.
Bernard--After the Storm". I admire the young and dedicated to rebuild. The
rest of us will have to rebuild our lives in places that offer refuge
(hence, I'm a refugee in search of peace. 

I'm not in a community filled with St. Bernard People--hundreds who meet and
recall good times, not changed ones. I've come to the conclusion that my
life has changed (as fate can often do) for a mission--that is to carry a
little bit of St. Bernard to another community (some say they are
ambassadors or representatives) where the culture can be shared. I don't
know and it's not easy. We all heal in some fashion--I suppose this is my
way of mending a broken heart.

--jer--