[StBernard] Getting over it?

[Westley Annis]

Jer,

I share your feelings of dispare and I have heard all the same "get over it"

type of phrases you are talking about.  Even from people as close as Metaire

(that happened to not get much damage) do not understand us or what we are 
going through.  I will never get over this completely.  It is like a death 
in the family.  It is something I will learn to live with, but never get 
over.  I will miss my home as I miss my deseased loved ones, forever.  It 
will never be the same, I will never be the same, just as life is not the 
same when someone dies.  St. Bernard will come back, but not the same place 
or people I was raised with.  I think we all knew people that died.  I did.

I feel St. Bernard died too, at least the St. Bernard I knew, loved, felt 
safe, secure, and familiar in.  Another generation will have that, but not 
us. I remember Junior saying in the begining that we had to come back and 
get "closure".  I don't believe in closure.  Closure is like it is over.  It

will never be over for us that call St. Bernard home.  We will just learn to

live and cope with it and incorporate it into our being. We will still think

of our old beloved St. Bernard from time to time and cry. We will want it 
back. Everyday I want it back. We are anrgy that this happened to us. So 
many feelings. I remember before this happened I always questioned God.  Why

had he given me such a good life?  Why did I deserve this great life?  Why 
wasn't I born in Iraq or Africa where there was war and famine.  Why did 
people in those countries have such a hard life and we had it so good?  Why 
are innocent children starving and having their limbs cut off in Africa?  I 
thanked God for the life he had given me, but questioned why.  I didn't do 
anything so special.  The people with war torn lives didn't do anything bad 
to deseve that.  My conclusion now is that God does not make things happen, 
but lets things happen.  He wants us to learn from it and he was saving this

for me.  I have come to believe that no one leads a charmed life.  You never

know what someone else is going through just looking at them from the 
outside. Keep going, Jer, and trust that God will give us strength and he 
knows what he is doing.

Laurie